What is romance?

Recently I have been pondering this question. Not because my relationship is lacking it but simply because I never want the spark to die. My boyfriend and I have officially exited the honeymoon period that happens in a new found relationship and are settling into regular relationship status (whatever that means).  We have shown each other our true colors and decided we like each other anyway. But some of the romantic things that may have happened in the beginning of the relationship (when we were busy trying to gain each others affection) have become less of a priority. The other day we were talking and teasing each other about being romantic and it got me to thinking: what is romance anyway? As I thought more and more about it I began asking friends and co-workers. The funny part is the men I asked usually just looked at me puzzled as if it was a trick question and women would thoughtfully look at me and say something like, good question.

What I have narrowed down from these various conversations is that romance is thoughtful ways to share love with another person and some tactics are more obvious and general and some are very specific depending on the person. For example, when my friend posed this question to her boyfriend his initial response was, "when you make sure there are Pop Tarts in the cupboard, that's romantic because I really like them." To each his own I guess.What I have learned is that romance doesn't have to be roses, poems, chocolates and candlelit dinners. When I go out to dinner with my boyfriend (especially if its a date night) he will order my meal for me. The first time this happened I didn't know exactly how to take it, but I realized this is one way he shares his love and have learned to take it that way.

So, here's a question for you, what is romantic to you?

Dating a Dad

In honor of Father's Day this Sunday I thought I would write about the amazing men who are father's in my life. This first entry is about my boyfriend, Adam. Enjoy!

If you would have told me even six months ago that I would be dating and falling for a man with a kid, chances are, I probably would have told you that you were crazy. It's not that I have ever had anything against dating a dad, I want kids of my own someday, but I guess its all the drama that can come along with that title that turned me off. Fortunately for me my man is pretty much drama free and he is an amazing full-time dad. Anyone can have a child but I think it takes a special kind of man to be a dad. I think Adam is one of those people who was born to be a dad. Despite his young age he has figured out how to care for, love and teach his daughter in a way that many parent's twice his age still haven't quiet figured out. Here are ten things that not only make him a special person, but also a great father to his daughter.

1. He puts her first above anything else, including himself. His daughter is his world and he is her protector, father and friend.

2. He holds her accountable for her successes and her failures.

3. He never lets her win. He wants her to learn what it takes to win and how to handle losing so he never let's her win -- not even at Disney Scene-It!

4. He believes in believing. Even at 12-years-old his daughter still believes in Santa Claus because he encourages her imagination and willingness to believe.

5. He leads by example.

6. He loves God and in turn so does his child.

7. He strives to make decisions for his daughter based on what's best for her, not always what's easiest. This is probably one of the qualities I admire the most about him. It takes courage and selflessness to do this and he does it well.

8. He doesn't do it by himself. Even though he's a single dad he's definitely not alone. Over the years Adam has created a circle of friends and family that would do anything for him and his daughter. They're both better people because of the people who are part of their lives.

9. He is not afraid of discipline but he also knows how to have fun.

10. He tells her he loves her. Growing up I knew a lot of girls who had terrible relationships with their dads. If their father's would have only said those three little words, I can only imagine how different their relationships would have been. Love is not the answer, its the starting point.

Is it worth it?

People often say the fun part of a relationship is in the beginning. I am not so sure I agree. Yes, the butterflies in your stomach and excitement of being with someone new are great but I think we tend to look back at the beginning of a relationship with rose color glasses and forget about the hard parts. Like realizing that what you thought was a witty remark really hurt your significant others feelings or that they could really do without your gum chewing and sarcasm. These lessons don't usually come easily and at some point both parties have to ask themselves "is this really worth it?"

Unfortunately my current relationship has hit this pinnacle moment and I am on the sidelines waiting to find out if my boyfriend thinks the good outweighs the bad. Is the laughter, fun times and witty banter worth dealing with my emotional reaction to things? I have a feeling this is what he's mulling over right now. Over the last 24-hours I have been going through a very similar train of thought and the answer for me is yes. The good still out weighs the bad. In fact, being the optimist I am, I have hope that he will make the same decision.

Do you think this is a natural life cycle of a new relationship? How have you overcome the bumps in the road in your own relationship?

I'm back. . . .

Last summer I started writing this blog because I needed an outlet to express myself as I transitioned back into the world of being single. It was great. I love writing and enjoyed the positive feedback I received from my adventures (and often misadventures) in dating. And then in December something amazing happened. I began dating this guy (he happens to be the subject of my last post), but I found myself not wanting to share it with the world. I wanted to keep it to myself and savor every moment of this experience with the new person in my life.

Over three months have passed and I am happily in a relationship and ready to return to the world of writing. I'm not sure exactly what form my writing will take or the exact topic of every post but that's ok, right? It is my blog after all. I am looking forward to getting back into writing on a regular basis and hopefully sharing my experiences in an entertaining way.

That Couple

Come on. . .you know who I'm talking about, right? It's the couple that make googly eyes at each other and call each other "honey bunny" or "schnookum." They're the couple that are so sweet they make your teeth hurt just looking at 'em. As someone not much into PDA, I always thought, yuck -- I never wanted to be that couple. Maybe my mind is starting to change because I'm single and now have a little more experience under my belt (or maybe that's the loneliness kicking in), but now I wonder would it really be so bad to be that couple. Do we really find that couple so disgusting or is it the ugly green monster of jealousy rearing it's creepy little head? If you have ever been in love you know what it feels like to be feel twitter patted and goose-bumpy, even if you don't wear your ooey-gooeyness on the outside for everyone to see. So, for those feelings to be so intense you just can't help but let them boil over, is it really the worst case scenario to be in the presence of that couple (in the most innocent of cases, of course, there is a line after all) -- especially if you ARE that couple and you don't have to watch it from afar.


I think there is another couple that would be much worse to be than the nauseating duo depicted above. You've probably witnessed this couple from time to time eating out together but not even muttering a word in the others direction. It's not just the silence between the two, it's the deadness in their eyes, as if the river of love has run dry. They both stare off into the distance, more interested in the other people in the restaurant then the one sitting only an arm's reach away. This to me is more heartbreaking than the latter.

Which would you pick?

Finding Peace with My Piece of the Pie

Often there are times when I offer up encouragement to a friend and the one who actually gets something out of it is me. A few weeks ago I ran into a girl I haven't seen since my freshman year of college, 10 years ago. As we were catching up on life and wandering down memory lane she told me proudly about her husband and six-year-old son but was obviously disappointed in herself for never finishing college. I told her that it's impossible to do everything in this life, so you should be proud of what you HAVE accomplished. In the moment I didn't think much of these words, though I truly meant them but they obviously had an impact on her because she chased me out to the parking lot to thank me for the positive affirmation. As I drove away it dawned on me that this advice was as applicable for me as it was for my friend. If I was being completely honest with her in the moment, I would have shared my desire for a strong relationship and even a family (someday), these are things I have sacrificed to focus on college and now my career. Sometimes I wonder if I spent too much time in a dead end relationship and wasted time that could have been used finding Mr. Right For Me. I realize these thoughts are pointless, but I'm human, too.

For year's my Dad has tried to impress upon me the importance of taking a moment to stop and smell the roses. Admittedly, I tend to jump from one thing to another not spending enough time to see the good things I have created or have been a part of in this life. If I blend the wisdom of my father with my own words, I think there is an even more powerful message there. Take time to appreciate the things you have accomplished, but don't dwell on the things you haven't done. . .yet. This is something I have been working on a lot lately. Taking a moment to take a deep breath and ponder life without letting the negative "what ifs" takeover.

What are some things on your bucket list that have been sacrificed up to this point in order to accomplish other things on your list? Would you change it if you could? How has your list changed because of the things you have accomplished?

Thirteen hours of love

If you had to choose between being in love for the next 13 hours and then dying, or living until the age of 98 without ever experiencing love which would you choose?

This question was posed during a conversation in my office the other day. Interestingly enough my co-worker chose option B and was just as passionate about his answer as I am about mine.

For me the answer is easy. Without even a thought I would pick 13 hours of love. Maybe it's because I have experienced the overwhelming, all-consuming feelings of love; to me it is the best feeling in the world and choosing that for a limited time over never experiencing it at all is a no brainer. Even despite the heartbreak and letdown of broken dreams and unmet expectations that I have experienced I truly believe that love, even if for only for 13 hours as in this case, is completely worth it.

I don't think there is an experience or material item in this world that could live up to or replace the feeling you get when your heart is full and you know you would go to the ends of the earth to make another person happy and they would do the same for you.

How would you answer this question and why?