Going through boxes of old photos, journals, notes and cards has been a bitter sweet reminder of how much things change and yet stay the same. I am reminded of the people who have come in and out of my life, some staying for only a season and others reappearing and disappearing and then those who have stuck by me through thick and thin. Reading my old journals is more like reading something someone else wrote then as if I actually penned them myself. It's interesting to see what and who used to keep me up at night and how much the things that get me down have changed. The trip down memory lane has been fun but I am in a place where I am more interested in the present then dwelling the past. As a self-proclaimed pack rat this is a sign of growth in and of its self.
The process of packing and simplifying my material belongings is a good metaphor for what's happening inside my head and heart, too. Sometimes the process is painful but when all of the separating, packing and cleaning is complete I will be a much better person. I plan on keeping the good and letting go of the bad. At times I find myself wanting to place a road block over my heart and proclaim this Lane closed for construction for an eternity, but this too shall pass. I guess all of this is part of the healing process. The heart is a very forgiving and self-healing muscle if we don't let our minds get in the way.
So, wish me luck, it's time to move on.
Sounds like you're in a good emotional place. Years ago, I moved during a time when I was experiencing a prolonged emotional funk. Basically, I got rid of everything I owned. Sometimes I wish I had some of it back.
ReplyDeleteI can completely understand wanting to get rid of everything and start fresh. Though I have worked very hard to hold material items loosely, I will keep your comment in mind before I get rid of everything.
ReplyDeleteMegan...as you said it's the process. List all the beautiful things you received from this relationship that you want to carry on into your future one. Having these grateful, positive thoughts (and memories) fill us and creates a loving, accepting energy that is approachable and attracts others of like-mindedness.
ReplyDeleteMost of all...love yourself, love yourself, love yourself...Say it even when you put on your morning body lotion, "I love myself". And do those things that bring you joy...like writing! (you're amazing at it); bubble baths, singing, praying, running, reading...and don't forget to BREATHE...deep belly breaths that will calm you and destress you from the top of your head to your tiny toes..10 deep breaths in the morning and in the evening. Here's a virtual hug!
Ending a relationship sucks...and that's why every woman should build a foundation of loving, strong, supportive, genuine, happy girlfriends who can support us when we go through this kind of heartache. I know. I've been there many times : )
Denise