Dating Like a Child

This morning I attended a friend's birthday party at The Artful Potter on Eastern and Pebble near the Regal Collonade movie theater. This was not just any friend's birthday party, she's six. I was the oldest guest without a child of my own in attendance by at least 20 years and then some. As I sat happily painting my piece of pottery with the other kids I thought to myself, this would make an awesome date. I guess this way of thinking says a lot about who I am and my childlike view of the world. It also speaks to the type of guy I want to date. If a man can't appreciate the small things in this world then he doesn't belong in my life.

Dating like a child. What a concept, right? I am not suggesting that on a date a person should act like a child (for some this just comes naturally), instead I am suggesting looking at the world through a child's eyes when picking your next date spot. So, here are some ideas to consider for your next date experience.

The Artful Potter
Embrace your inner artist and show-off your creative side while painting pottery that you can take home after it has been glazed and fired at The Artful Potter studio. Studio time is an $8 flat fee per person and you can choose from bisque items to paint ranging from $3 to $75. The Artful Potter has two locations - one in Green Valley and one in Summerlin -- and is open 'til 9 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 'til 10 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays.

The Pinball Hall of Fame
Whether you are on a date or not, if you live in Las Vegas I highly recommend checking this place out. Harness your competitive spirit and go back in time in the 4,500 square-foot Hall of Fame which houses a collection of pinball machines ranging from the 1950s up to the 1990s. There is no admission to get in and depending on the game, costs between 25 and 50 cents to play each game. The Pinball Hall of Fame is located on the north west corner of Tropicana and Pecos and is open 'til 11 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and 'til midnight on Fridays and Saturdays.

The Springs Preserve
The Springs Preserve is the site where water was first found in Las Vegas and is one of my favorite spots in Southern Nevada. With hiking trails, museum exhibits and cool events going on all the time, there is always something fun to do and not just for kids. If you're hungry there is a Wolfgang Puck Cafe inside the park and it lives up to the chef's reputation it's named after. General admission for adults is $9.95 if you are a Nevada resident and the park is open from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily.

Rides & Roller coasters at the Stratosphere
If your a thrill seeker or just an excuse to have some fun the Stratosphere Hotel and Casino offers three rides that won't let you down: Big Shot, X-Scream and Insanity the Ride. Tickets packages for all three rides can be purchased for under $30 or under $15 for individual rides.

Sky Zone
Sky Zone is an indoor trampoline arena. Have a blast during open jumping hours or join a class. Sky Zone has one location in Las Vegas and is open 'til 10 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. Tickets are $12 per person/per hour.

Changing Lanes: A new blog identity

After almost a full month of blogging I have received awesome feedback from friends regarding the content and direction of my blog. Among the creative criticism the most common comment is this: "Your blog is great, but what happens if you start dating someone, does the blog end? The title is 'Megan on a Date' after all." After mulling this over it made sense, but what was I supposed to call my blog? As someone who has always enjoyed writing, I know this is something I would like to continue; besides being a creative outlet it's an opportunity for me to record pieces of my life in a fun quirky way.

It was one of my best friends who suggested playing off my last name: Lane. One of the ideas which was based on a decade old inside joke was "Uneven Lanes" but it wasn't exactly right. Then, after more discussion with many of my brilliantly creative friends I settled on a new title: "Changing Lanes." Perfect. Not only does it fit my current situation but it will probably fit in any season of my life. As the cliche goes, the only constant thing in life is change. So, welcome to the newly named blog.

That being said, the overall written direction of my blog will not change. I still plan to share my dating (mis)adventures but now the topics and possibilities of other things to write about are endless. I look forward to the evoloution of this personal writing project and am thankful for all the creative people I have in my life.

If you were following Megan on a Date or had the site bookmarked please start following Changing Lanes, instead.

Adventures in Dating

The other day a friend sent me a blog link entitled, "Ikea: a cheap place for date night." The jist of the article is that there is a new trend at Ikea of couples going to the store on date night to enjoy the childcare, cafe and interesting atmosphere. Considering I live in Vegas where there isn't an Ikea store, this particular date doesn't appeal to me (there is no way I am sitting in a car for eight hours with someone I barely know, though I am sure it would be entertaining), but it brings up the thought of all the activities this city does have to offer for a single lady looking for love.

I have a few ideas of my own, but I thought it would be fun to ask readers of my blog for suggestions of places or activities to meet new people. I have the ultimate veto power , however I promise to consider any suggestions you might throw at me. Be creative -- and even if I don't find the man of my dreams at least I will have fun trying! Right?

Making the best of a difficult situation

For the last three months I have been reexamining my life as a newly single 20-something in an effort to figure out what I want out of life and what type of person (and people in general) I want to share my time. This is what has been happening for all the world to see, but behind the scenes, I have continued to live with my ex as we wait for our lease to end. This could be an extremely challenging situation -- trying to create a fresh start while my past wanders around in his boxers leaving beer cans on the coffee table and dishes in the sink -- but surprisingly it's not. You're probably thinking, "yeah, right. There is no way." But it's true, at least most of the time.

Don't get me wrong, I am human after all, but if I catch myself getting ready to board the "but, what if. . . ." train, I just take a moment and remind myself that this was MY decision with MY best interests in mind and move on. My last relationship served it's purpose and I would be doing myself a disservice by reconsidering my very well thought out decision to move forward. There's also a light at the end of the tunnel. September will mark a true turning point in my life, but I see no point in waiting until then to get right with myself.

As suggested by my favorite Matchmaker, I recently made a top ten list of qualities my man must have in order to meet my physical, emotional, mental, financial and spiritual needs. By making my needs and desires clear, this one little exercise builds the foundation for a future relationship to be built. Tonight I read a blog post in the Huffington Post by Gail Lynne Goodwin, the ambassador of inspiration (love it!), entitled "The Secret to Finding Your Soulmate." Her personal story is a perfect example of this. Because she knew very clearly what she wanted, she was able to identify him as soon as he walked into her life. Though I don't think most people have her luck -- she basically met the man of her dreams within days of declaring her search for her soulmate -- I definitely think she had the right idea.

We all face challenging seasons in our life, ultimately we make the decision to be miserable or not. For me it boils down to this: I have been able to make the best of a difficult situation because (a) the outcome will be worth the pain, (b) it's only temporary, (c) I am a better person because of my experience and most importantly, (d) my faith in God. Sometimes it's necessary to stop and smell the metaphorical roses and then there are times like these where I focus on the future and run like the wind!

The countdown is on

The official end of my self-proclaimed dating detox is seven days away and there are so many things I haven't done that I may need to grant myself an extension. This reminds me of my college days, I was after all the queen of procrastination! Since I started this blog I have been asked several times, what is a dating detox - so here it is, defined by Patti Stanger herself:

"During this step you get to stop, take a breath, and get your romantic bearings. . . This is a chance to get back in touch with your softer more feminine side -- to draw men to you like bees on honey. . . Depending on the length of your last relationship, Dating Detox should last between thirty and ninety days."

While in detox I have examined my past relationships and developed a firm grasp on what I am looking for in a relationship. I have also taken time to focus on myself and find my "happy" place. Before the detox can end there are a few vital steps that need to happen. First, I need to purge my life of anything I don't need. According to my favorite Matchmaker this is necessary to make room for new things. This will actually be great since I will be moving in the next few months and will be forced to do this anyway. Second, I need to go shopping for a few new items for my dating wardrobe. I made my first attempt at this today but just wasn't feeling it. Besides, I was supposed to take a man with me, which wasn't possible today.

I am not sure what is holding me back from completing these two steps, but I vow to make some headway before the next weekend rolls around.

When the clock strikes midnight next Sunday and the detox is officially over I will be ready to date again. I guess. I am not sure if you can truly put a countdown on something like this, but it has been over three months since my last relationship and though I may have a lot to accomplish to physically prepare my life for new love possibilities I think my heart and mind are ready. Being back in the land of the dating however, doesn't mean I will be on a date right away, it means I will be open to it. Who, when and where are still to be determined, but I am sure it will be a new adventure.

Check back for updates, but in the meantime, allow me to pull you into my procrastinating by sharing my favorite Dane Cook bit: "I just wanna dance!"

I choose happiness

Tonight I attended my nephew's high school graduation. As I listened to the student's speeches, each painting a bright future with a "time to take on the world" attitude, I realized how much I have learned since I sat in a similar seat listening to frighteningly similar speeches just 10 years ago. Something clicked in my mind when one of the students said something to the affect of, "there is only one path to happiness, so choose carefully."

There is no doubt in my mind she is wrong. If there was only one path to happiness, what a sad world this would be. For one, it's the mistakes we choose to learn from that make us better people along the way. In my personal circumstance I would not be such a hopeful, happy place if it weren't for the "mistakes" I have made in my life. Secondly, I don't believe happiness is waiting to be found -- happiness is a choice we make in our lives. So, I guess that means I may have picked the "wrong" road, but as far as I am concerned, it's the right road for me.

So, how is this relevant to dating and relationships? Well, you don't have to read crazy dating advice books to know that happiness is the key to a healthy relationship. And I'm not talking about finding happiness in a relationship, I am talking about choosing true genuine happiness for yourself when no one else is around. I choose happiness (sprinkled with a lot of hope).

As for the student who spoke at graduation today, she'll find her way. She truly does have a bright future ahead and maybe for her there is only one path to happiness, but I hope not.

Reality TV Kills Relationships

If you have been living on planet Earth for the last several years than you have either seen or at least heard of the ABC show "The Bachelor" and it's counterpart "The Bachelorette." If you have been living under a rock here's the quick run down: in a quest for "true love" a bachelor or bachelorette chooses a possible wife or husband from a pool of 25 to 30 potential suitors who they must get to know during a variety of dream dates and amazing vacations. Through the course of the season the usually ridiculously attractive love interests are eliminated one by one during a rose ceremony until the bachelor or bachelorette's final decision is revealed on the show's always dramatic finale.

This season's star of "The Bachelorette" is Jillian Harris, a 29-year-old Canadian who was rejected by last season's bachelor Jason Mesnick (She's probably thanking her lucky stars, but that's an entirely different blog.)

Though I admit I have a tendency to get sucked into the last few episodes of the seasons, I don't buy into all of the hype. It might seems like a fairytale situation, but the truth is after 18 combined seasons of the show only one couple actually made it to the altar and has actually been able to sustain a relationship - that was Trista Rehn and Ryan Sutter. It is technically considered a game show, after all.

First of all, it's unrealistic to believe everyone is on the show for the right reasons. Last night's episode was a perfect example. During a cocktail party rumor made it to Harris that one of the men on the show had a girlfriend at home. It's hard enough to qualify people in the real world, I can't imagine doing it when the possibility of fame is attached to it. It seems some people will do anything for 15-minutes of fame, even if someones heart is on the line.

Secondly, I can't imagine it's easy to reveal your true colors when a camera is being stuck in your face and the thought that millions of people will be watching is always in the back of your mind. And, is it really possible to see how someone reacts to stress and real world situations when you are constantly being whisked away on extravagant cruises and there isn't possibly anything you could worry about?

And for the most obvious point, no one ever wants to imagine their potential love interest playing kissy-face with someone else, so why would you put yourself in a situation where it's happening, in some cases, right next to you?

So, I guess with all of this said, it won't be a surprise when I reveal that I won't be trying out for either of these shows in the near future. My advice: if you want to find love don't go looking on reality TV, unless of course it's from the safety of your own comfy couch.

When does dinner become a date?

As a marketing professional I pride myself on being able to listen to a client and figure out what they want even if they are not spelling it out for me. Well, it seems being single requires similar skills yet only sharper. If a man asks out a woman he has never met at a bar it's fair to assume he is interested in more than just friendship. But how do you know if it's a date if a man you have known for a while asks you out but doesn't clearly state his intentions? I love the guideline offered by my favorite matchmaker, Patti Stanger:"coffee is cheap, drinks are an audition, lunch is an interview and dinner means business."But does this cover it? Are there other factors that need to be considered?

After Google-ing "when is it a date?" I came up with the following list of items that people consider when establishing if a get together is a date:

1. location
2. time of day
3. day of the week
4. how you get to the meeting place (does he pick you up or do you drive?)
5. topics discussed during said meeting
6. how the bill is paid

I am sure there are a million other items, but these seemed the most relevant to me. I also took an unofficial poll of friends, family and co-workers and the overwhelming answer was dinner is always a date.

I am not completely sold on that - I think friends of the opposite sex can have dinner without it being more. I think the best rule of thumb is this: it's not a date until both parties have acknowledged it as one.

So what do you think? When does dinner become a date?

Paging Mr. Right!

If it were only that easy. . . Seriously! I guess it doesn't really matter at this moment as I work through my dating detox, however at some point I am going to have to get back out there and meet someone, but where? If you ever get a chance to talk to a single lady in Vegas about dating I guarantee she will tell you it's harder to find people to date in this town than anywhere else. But, is that really true? My frame of reference is small since I moved here at the precious age of 18 and did very little dating prior to that, but from the experiences I do have it hasn't been exactly easy.

Easy or not, it seems the experts can provide a little hope to the singles in Sin City. According to Forbes' annual "Best Cities for Singles" list published in September 2008, Las Vegas ranks 24 out of the top 40 cities. The ratings were based off the following criteria: number of singles, nightlife, coolness, culture, job growth, online dating and cost of living. It seems being chosen as the second coolest city and fifth for job growth is what kept Vegas on the list. Sadly we came in 37th out of 40 for numbers of singles but it seems not all hope is lost. According to a US Singles Map published in the Boston Globe single men in Las Vegas outnumber women by at least 40,000.

Now for the most obvious question: if these numbers are accurate where are all these single men? But more importantly, where is Mr. Right? Matchmaker Patti Stanger offers three suggestions in her book, Become Your Own Matchmaker, of where to meet men: online, personal contacts and out and about. (By the way, I will probably continue referencing Stanger's book, at least until I finish it!) I have no interest in meeting a man at a bar and I have done online dating in the past and am not quiet ready to get back on that horse. For me, I think meeting someone through personal contacts makes the most sense. It would take a lot of stress out of the process because anyone who is introduced by a friend has been pre-screened and given the stamp of approval. This of course isn't a perfect system but seems more fool proof then the other options. The other place I have considered is getting more involved at church.

If you are single living in Las Vegas how are you meeting people? If your happily married, do tell, how did you meet and what advice would you give to a single lady looking for love?

Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match

Last night while waiting to meet a friend for dinner I wandered around the bookstore near our specified meeting place. Bookstores are a dangerous place for me, I can’t seem to control the urge to buy at least one book. This time the book that caught my eye was Become Your Own Matchmaker, written by the star of the Bravo network's reality show The Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger and co-author Lisa Johnson Mandell. I absolutely love the show and it probably doesn’t hurt that I am a newly single woman on the prowl. After reading the first few pages I was hooked.

In the first chapter of the book, entitled Step 1: Dating Detox, Stanger explains the importance of stepping away from the dating scene – whether you are just out of a long term relationship or a serial dater – to take time for yourself and figure out what you want in a mate. She pushes the point that people in general are attracted to happy people and this is the key ingredient to the recipe for success in the dating world.

For once in my life “detoxing” sounded easy. I didn't have to force myself to drink any funny smelling liquid or be deprived of carbs, I simply needed to focus on me. That’s easy, right? A positive attitude and genuinely happy outlook on life has always come pretty easy to me. As I drove home excited to break open my new book and unveil all of the secrets to finding Mr. Right I realized I must be part of a small percentage of people who have found a way to hang on to the glass and keep it half full despite the small turbulence that might make it seem half empty. How sad. Then I realized maybe my perspective on life and dating would be worth writing about.

So stay tuned to hear about my adventures as a single 20-something in Vegas. It may not be the crazy and out of control as you might expect in Sin City – but I can promise you it will be entertaining.